Worrier me

Ok.. Been a while since I posted. This blog thingy is suppose to be some online diary that's open to everyone.. Somehow this blog seems to be rather lonely..

Time passes really fast when I'm in school. Its sememster 3 in a blink of an eye. NUS wasn't what I had expected it to be. Still, no girlfriend, and my bulge is returning to me.. Sianz.. Going to be the old Ah pui again.. Must jog!!

Ever since the last paper taken on Sem 2, that is CS1231, I developed this lethargic feeling towards studying. A few times i stopped and pondered, why the hell am I studying so hard for? I got no girlfriend. I will become one of the thousands of engineers in the market. I have no goals, no great body, no passion (yeah this lack of passion thingy is getting ahead of me lately. I feel lethargic even while playing soccer! WTF!). Plus, something happened in my family recently, that made me lose confidence in my parents.. I guess I had stepped onto this crossroad of my life, in which I still wasn't mature or prepared enough to handle it.

Sometimes I think that I think too much.. Worry too much. I had been a worrier all my life. I remembered vividly the few occasions my father would bring me out to kai kai when I was a small kid. On board of a crowded bus, me and father have to sit separately on different seats. i always sit the seat in front, so that my father can see me from where he was sitting. Then, there I was, turning my head every few instances or so, to check that my father was still there, that he didn't abandon me, or he dropped off some bus stop forgetting about my existence and stuff.. Worrier me.

Then when I grew older, i worried about my exams, friends, soccer skills, relationships.. Worried about where i will stand in this pragmatic meritocratic city state. Zhishun says I think so much. So do I. What the fuck, i am thinking that I think I think too much. My life is in a mess.

My third sem is fucked up. That EE2012, i knew I wasn't good at it, but i did nothing at all to savage the module. I was in a fucking daze, just worrying how bad I gonna get for the mod. That wasn't me! that wasn't the old Junjie. The old Junjie stood up against his Geography teacher, telling her "That's my answer, take it or leave it." The old junjie is about attitude. Full of vigor and passion. Unafraid. Full of energy at soccer, studies, anything. What had become of me?

Things to ponder:
1) Maybe its because I reversed my bio clock. sleeping during the day, study at night is not good for the body and brain.
2) not enough water
3) not enough excercise. Feeling lethargic all the time.

Remedies:
1) Reverse my bio clock. Make it right. Scrap all late night soccer
2) Drink at least 8 glasses of water per day
3) Go gym 3 times per week, go jog everyday, 5km
4) Get a life, go get a girl!
5) Quit online gaming. That's harmful and unbeneficial anyway

By the way, that's a picture of me in RF online. nice cheap online game, but its in chinese.. Its the first pic I put in this blog.. so watch it while it last