The Happening.. is not happening

Couldn't sleep and did this review of what I thought of the movie that I caught on 13th June, 2008, a Friday. With Hieu. At YCK. On its opening day. So here it goes!

When I hear the name M. Night Shyamalan, it conjures up memories of images of suspenseful tales from the crypts, scared folks whispering about something that defies comprehension, and then, some twist at the end of his movies.

Ghosts, super heroes, UFOs, neurotics hermits -- subjects Hollywood filmmakers discussed and abused repeatedly over and over again on their drawing boards. Yet Shyamalan's films inject a special uniqueness, presenting its audience with a perspective that's truly his and his only. Of course, not all of this uniqueness is good. Have you ever noticed how his actors are often much dressed down, mundane, and down to earth, like the average Joe or Jane on the streets? How his films are riddled with really dumb dialogs or superfluous sequences? That they are painfully slow at times and you just want to say "heck it, let's get to the twist"?

In one sentence, "The happening", Night's latest offering, is a dramatic flop. In this film, having seemingly ran out of subject matters, Night embodies the film's antagonist in the form of mother earth's population of bushes and trees. Yes, you heard it right -- the big bloody trees that are probably encircling around you right now, making that hiss hiss sound while some invisible breeze slithers through them. Having probably seen Al Gore's "An inconvenient truth" and probably after gorging a few pints of Vodka, as a unfortunate aftermath for us, Night penned his script. And he forgot to include the BLOODY TWIST! Or is the part where it was revealed that the real devil was mother nature a twist itself? That's one mother-fucking weak twist!

What's wrong with the film? For the most part, its pretty boring. Especially so when the main antagonist are some evolved evil trees that threatens to kill specifically humans only by swaying their branches as while some evil gale blows. See, powered by wind power. How environmentally friendly. This reminds me of an episode of South Park (the day before the day after tomorrow), the one where Randy, the geographer, warns the community about the fore coming of an ominous "it" that threatens to destroy humanity that reside on the wrong end of a event horizont that happens to shape after a gargantuan penis. Its just not frightening. Its almost funny for a horror scene.

The film truly have presented several interesting ways that instruct how one could incapacitate him/herself shall the need for it comes. Nevertheless, after that gruesome smorsgabord of awesomeness founded in the strings of Saw movies, Night's twisted mind seems less twisted after all.

Yet, somehow I still managed to savage something good about the film. There are scenes that pointed out how human beings had abused the environment and are oblivious about it -- and they are made very very subtle. It seems as though Night steered away from the path of being a nagging mother, purposefully putting pieces of biscuits and crumbs, hiding them clues against the back drops of the grand scheme of things, only wanting his audiences to realize the folly during their retrospection.

Like that hot dog quiz the statistician teacher had proposed to a screaming kid (even though it appeared rather incongruously in the story..):
If you are someone who like hot dogs. On some day, you approached a stand where it sells hot dog, each for 10 cents. Then, supposed the owner of the hot dog stand somehow decided to bamboozle you, doubling the prize of each hot dog for each day as you approached him to buy his hot dog. That is, the hot dog costs 10 cents today, 20 cents tomorrow, 40 cents the day after, 80 cents.. and so on and so forth. Based on intuition, how much do you need to pay for a hot dog after one month (28 days)? $10? Higher. $100? $1000? Higher, higher! You'll be surprised with the answer. Subtle, ingenious.

Like what he proposed us to do about the calamity at hands, that people should start living in smaller and smaller groups. That its no use escaping to rural areas once disasters strike, for calamities like these knows no geographical boundaries, nor are they going to differentiate who's right and who's wrong. In the show, the old man who talks to plants though they are his own child, who built an expensive tent to house his precious, who bides his plants goodbye before leaving for safer grounds, still ultimately suffered a tragic end.

Like how he insinuates human beings are just getting what we deserved with a loud signboard that says "Model house: You deserves this!" -- as consumerism led us to pursue stuffs that are really hollow plastics and emotionless entities; as we had bargained all that we belong with a piece of that wonderful mother nature; that we, inhabitants of earth, had thought that we gained the better end of the deal, that all of these must had came free and without consequences, when the reality is not so kind.

But on the whole a really bad movie. Spoiled not only by a cast full of mis-casted characters (Mark Wahlberg as a really insincere science teacher; an inept Zooey Deschanel whom I must questioned her acting skills), the film's ultimate flaw is the lack of a congruent story line to hook the audiences' attention, as well as.. OK let's face it, no one is to be scared by some swaying trees and those seemingly benign whooshing winds. Lastly, no twist!

Now when I hear the name M. Night Shyamalan, I'd think twice before approaching his films. Not on opening days, definitely. This reminds me of what WWE's The Great Khali's valet Daivari had praised about the latter's achievements:

"The Great Khali has stared into the abyss, and the Earth has trembled at his Gaze. The Great Khali has wrestled the Royal Bengal Tiger and The Great Khali is from the Punjab Jungles of India. The Great Khali ranks with the likes of Mother Teresa, Ghandi, Bhagat Singh, Ravishankar, and M. Night Shyamalan!"

Yes, yes, buckle up for your next show, or you will be under the Great Khali.

JJ's RT meter: 3/10. OOO*******